Passion Rita

Friday, April 25, 2008

Room C338, Sherton Hotel, Richmond, VA

Spring Ball Pre-Gaming

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Rita is not pictured here, but she is in us all. Please believe me. Extraordinary, long, dramatic, fun, funny, weird night of glamour. These girls are just glamorous.

CounterCulture

Now that it is over, I can move on from here. So glad that it's over. All in the atmosphere.

The only issue is that my sentiments are countered by the weather. Betch.

And the whole day remained totally insidious. Between the roaring on the roof and the erratic and violent brilliance in the sky, the meaning of life kind of slid into the gutters with the rest of the rain.

Everyone just waited for the firmament's disposition to change. Eventually we all just waited for the day to be over. The end of the day seems like a probable end to the storm.

And I waited with my Wishing Marble in hand. I was unable to engage really, but thunder and lightning seemed more lachrymose when he wasn't around.

I felt like today was some kind of extension of my pervasive and internal tempest. It looked like how I felt. And the rain was inconsistent, but the gray never dissipated.

Forwarding Address

There is terror here. That is the story here. The truth is terrorizing. There is no rest or solace or plainness. There is just terror and scandal.

Scandal. Yes there is much scandal. And the scandal is borne of boredom. Because honestly, cruelty is not a crime. Boredom is. Not quiet. Quiet is not boring. Also, not quiet all the time. But simple sound, compartmenalized and labelled, color coded and all.

Ultimately, this is code for picking up the pieces and shipping them off to another address to be put back together in another location. The original location has become a pollutant. The environment itself is a pollutant, maybe carcinogenic even, to the elements of this person.

Therefore, I have mailed my heart, soul, mind, hands, eyes, feet, gut, goals, dreams, voicebox, ears, sadness, joy, idiosyncracies, humanity, social security number, dignity, contradictions, flaws, hopes, fears, hair, nails, anger, desperation, obsessive compulsivity, stomach, laughter, tears, lies, shoes, crimes, humor, intellect, nail polish, and my name to:

2008 Welcome Street, Start.Over, VA, 03130, USA.

Kholi

The lady of this Title read my blog. I think so much of this lady because she it too amongst the chosen people, an artist.

Artists are the chosen people because to be an artist does not rest solely on what and how much one produces. It is more a state of mind manifested in the decisions one makes in life. Artists are 'strange' on the conventional spectrum of normalcy.

They see the beauteousness in what is commonly wretched or messy or inconsistent.

They are emotional beyond the line of absurdity. While he or she artist may not cry or blow up and such, the intensity of anything they feel is a symptom of their artistry. Because, the intensity felt may have nothing to do with art, but the artistry of tha human being is completely inseparable from everything in his or her life. Relationships, loves, hobbies, obligations, flaws, self esteem, favorite songs, favorite foods, and everything, everything, are somehow connected together to make the one big, ultimate art piece that is a human's artistry.

Artists are strange people. True artists are simply crazy. So my dearet Kholi, she too is torn between her electronic art (blogging) and her timeless, conventional, but contemporary art (writing with the hand). I almost said to her and myself (as I suffer this same torment) that blogging can replace writing in a tangible journal.

That triggered this blog. Then my purple Rubbermaid box full of all my old journals opened up and a few journals popped up. They clamored and cried and pretty much cussed me out. My journal from the fifth grade said, in a quivering voice, "You don't remember how you felt when you wrote? You don't remember that when no one else listened, we did? When you wanted to be really honest, you wrote in us. These blogs, these blogs are interesting, but they are inherently contrived. You have an audience for which your are writing. Your honesty is, by virtue, compromised. We will always be true."

Damn wise journals. So, Kholi, Zainab, other artists torn, remain torn. Remain in the two pieces, three pieces, four pieces and maintain all the venues of art. You must.

When the Deaf Can Hear the Music

I've been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem so scattered
But I think it's about forgiveness

...so India sang to me, as I have been unable to hear all other advices, suggestions, encouragements, and the ilk. I just wanted to be sad for a while. Sometimes that is how I feel and how I want to feel.

Despite all the coaxing and some caudling, I just wanted to be angry and sad. And I remain so, but at a far quieter volume. I saw yesterday, in a blueprint of my life, that it just all has to work out. It has to because I must have a life, a healthy and happy life so it has to work out.

Still, I cannot forgive. Not because I do not want to, but simply because I do not know how. I feel it impossible, although I have done it before, it is so hard. Too dificult. Simultaneously, I cannot decide who to forgive. Don't some people betray you as a form of exit? Who really wants to exit? Who do I want to exit?

I want to forgive, but my will gets weak and then I eat from my anger again and I cannot forgive. It's my sickness, my sin, my most easily identified malady.

Therefore, today I might call this happy. I say that because I at least did not cry today.

Building

Wednesday, April 2, 2008
World Autism Awareness Day

Autism is defined as neurological spectrum disorder that affects development in many areas. It falls under the umbrella category of Pervasive Development Disorders (PDD).

It is considered a spectrum disorder because there are varying degrees of it. Some people with Autism can talk, have full cognitive faculties, and physical abilities, but they may be what others notice as "socially awkward". Others have far less cognitive capacity and are almost infantile in their speech, social skills, emotional management and expression.

Autism is the most frequently occurring PDD, boasting 1 in 150 births, although children are not diagnosed at birth. Children usually exhibit signs of Autism between 18 and 24 months. It is more prevalent in boys (4X) than in girls. It is thought that something in estrogen seems to protect girls better than does testosterone, although girls are diagnosed with Autism.

Autism is getting much more media and medical attention because of the extreme increase in diagnoses. The last ten years have seen an remarkable increase in children diagnosed with Autism. It has become a kind of epidemic for the world of neurological/developmental disorders.
The key is early intervention. Watch your child for the typical milestones, smiling, laughing, eye contact, playing with others, appropriate display or management of emotions. If several of these are amiss, it may point to a problem. Therapy, including speech and social, can help combat some of the prison like symptoms.

There is technically no CURE but that does not mean there is nothing you can do. With early intervention, children can learn to read, socialize, write, swim, and much more that children without Autism can do.

And you can still have a happy family life.

**Keep in mind though, all children develop normally and one delayed milestone does not mean the baby has Autism.