Hemmorhage

"Dream Big" by Jazmine Sullivan

...I gotta dream big / cuz when it happens / it's gon happen real quick...only get one chance...

I read an article on the http://www.nytimes.com/ in the health section that was rather disheartening. It was about filial law. Filial law, for a little while, hasn't been a real topic of concern in our culture. The government stepped in to introduce programs that alleviate the financial burden of aging, such as the Social Security program and Medicare, which functions under the idea of citizens paying into the system.

But healthcare is more expensive, drugs are more expensive, people work too much to keep their aging parents in their home, and the population of the elderly is growing quickly and their needs are exorbitant. Long-term care insurance (didn't know that existed) is apparently also insufficient in what it covers and leaves many paying out of pocket or going to government operated nursing homes (gross).

The writer of the article is discussing the last months of her mother's life and the daunting task it was to get her to qualify for Medicaid, which is not a program people pay into but an entitlement should you not be able to provide for your health coverage via working or out of pocket. Her mother's nursing home cost $14,000 a month. What kind of mess is that?

The article explains this situation in much greater depth than I am able, but I had to write down all that the article made me think of. First of all, I don't want to be an adult. It sucks and I don't understand why adults aren't warning kids not to grow up. There should PSAs everywhere about growing up and having responsibilities. I feel ill-informed and insufficient for my adult years.

Secondly, I don't know how I feel about filial laws. Legally compelling children to take care of their elderly parents seems risque. It would be a noble, loving thing to do if you are able, but legal compulsion seems drastic, messy, unfair, and undemocratic. I hope that I am able and that my parents will allow me to take care of them in their old age. Despite the tumult of our relationship, I love them dearly and have grown up to see how hard they worked for my siblings and I, how much they sacrificed, how much they continue to endure.

But my parents are from Sierra Leone and want to return to Sierra Leone. It won't be difficult to provide for them back home. Everything is much cheaper. Provided that they are in relatively good health, my parents will be very comfortable while in Sierra Leone. The entitlements of their retirement will go much farther while living in Africa than in America. I will also heavily subsidize their lifestyle when they are ready to return home. I would send them back now if I could.

Nonetheless, I worry. What are people supposed to do about their parents? I fathom that people want to help their parents, have them live comfortably as they inch closer to the grave and die with dignity. But looking around, life is hard. How are people supposed to be able to do that given the cost of living? I feel as though the idealogy of this country are cracked in too many places and there is about to be a complete implosion.

Freetown, stand up...

If you'd like to read the article:

http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/20/unenforced-filial-responsibility-laws/?hp